Tag Archives: humour

Who Am I?

Today I spoke with a marketing expert about how to better manage your online profile, promoting your work and doing this in the best way possible to get the best return.

Sounds simple enough, apart from the fact that one of the key things is to tell any visitors to my website/blog more about me, so they will glean from this this what they are here for.

So to this end I have updated my ‘about me’ or my ‘about J W Nelson’ sections in an effort to give readers, viewers the option to quickly know about me and what i want to achieve.

Please check out the above sections and let me know if its any good! And to help with knowing more about me – here is a little ditty…

ALL ABOUT ME…

Why not I’m a writer

I don’t box, so I’m no fighter

Like to boogie when I get chance

And by the way it means I like to dance

Like being happy and never sad

My occupation is being more than a dad

Never naughty so no ending up in court

Enjoy going to the gym and playing many sports

Enjoy the taste of food, especially spiced lamb

Yes, I’m the man from the Midlands – Yes that’s Birmingham

No hiding in my family of six

Growing up was like a certain film – maybe the Matrix?

The blue pill guided my path, my life

Doors opened, I found a job and my wife

The red pill meant having a boy and a girl

Precocious little blighters, make up our small world

I have always wanted to write

To have the ability to excite

Involve, stimulate and entertain 

That’s the target, that is my gain

Hello from ‘Me’ – a poetic set piece about me and who I am and try to be.

Any feedback welcomed; on here or @jwnelson3 (twitter) or j_w_nelson309 (Instagram)

Fools Company? How does your company fare?…

See below an excerpt from the book Company of Fools – a comedy drama, with a hint of romance (if you can call it that) available on amazon as a paperback or e-book.

This is the story of one man’s genuine quest to find love, a good job and maybe start a family. His name Justin Whalley. The book is written in the first person as Justin regales his various attempts to obtain or keep one or more of his ‘life goals’.

The random excerpt is from the first page I turned to when opening the novel. Halfway through chapter 9.

“Walking through the cemetery at this early hour frightened me a little. It was winter and still dark, yet the liquid spirit made me feel brave.

Stumbling through the grave yard, I struggled to navigate where my mother’s grave stone could be. Going once a month still left me confused, feeling that I never truly knew where to look, when so many headstones looked familiar. Somehow, the cemetery always seemed different to me. Maybe the drink was having an effect.

The wind calmly whistled through the dense trees that surround the cemetery. I walked following a narrow path and then cut across some grass. This was ridiculous, I couldn’t see a damn thing.

Taking each step slowly, I then found no solid ground. My whole body careered forward and downward. I screamed at the top of my voice.

There I was falling into what must be a newly dug eight foot deep grave. I landed hands first, then body. Flat out. once I regained my my senses, I turned to face, looking upward out of the grave. The darkness seemed to be swirling, moving as though some creature had just thrown me in.

I stood up and dusted myself down and immediately started to call for help.

‘Help! Help! Can anybody hear me?’ Of course no one replied.

I tried one or two more attempts to leap upward but the depth was too steep. Well that’s what I thought. Without warning, down there in the depths of this new grave , a voice spoke to me. ‘Don’t bother mate, I’ve been here all night and can’t get out’.

You’ve never heard a scream ort yell like it. My throat was sore from that yelling and screaming and boy oh boy, when I thought eight feet was too high, I could have jumped three or four times that if I had to.

I don’t know how, but I found a spring that allowed me to escape what could only be described as a spiritual experience, in some way. I know some people have the power to talk to the dead, but this was too close a call”.

Book by J W Nelson (for aged 16+)

Other books: Pentagon Pirate Gang : The Secret of the Orchard (Young Adult) – available on Amazon and in in book shops from spring this year (2022).